I watched a negotiation today end in failure. In that same negotiation, the Buyer got exactly what he wanted, and at the discounted price he wanted to pay.

Does that sound like victory to you? Then why am I calling it a failure?

Here’s what happened:

This was not a real estate sale. It was something I witnessed in a retail store, a local Bellingham outlet of used building supplies called the ReStore.

The ReStore collects used but use-able building materials, organizes them by type, then sells them for a maximum of 50% of new if it’s mint. Less if it’s not.

The Buyer in my story was shopping for a set of bi-fold doors, and there were perhaps 60 to 80 sets to look through. I was nearby, so I watched him browse for a good matching set, then eventually score some nice ones.

When he brought them to the counter to pay, he pointed out that one was marked $14, and the other — totally identical and obviously part of the same set — was marked only $5. I haven’t priced new bifold doors like these ones anytime recently, but I’d guess this was 1/3 to 1/4 what he would’ve payed for new ones. They were essentially perfect, so it was what I’d call a “very good deal.”

The Buyer pointed out the price difference to the clerk, and said that he wanted both doors for $5 each.

Now, having looked through the bi-folds myself and with a very good sense of how they were pricing them, the $5 price tag was clearly an error. Every other door of comparable (mostly lesser) quality in the rack was at $14. Just getting the one for $5 would’ve been a good discount, and a “very, very good deal” for the set.

The clerk countered his $5-for-both statement with, “I’ll give you both for $14 total.”

This was a gracious gesture, in my eyes. Buy one, get one free.

The Buyer wouldn’t have it. He put up a fuss. And here, where he just opened up a can of bad-ass on the clerk, is where I saw failure creeping in.

Negotiation isn’t about beating the other person so you’re the winner. Unless you’re a cop and all you want is a name, or a confession.

Negotiation, in its highest form, is about two people reaching “fair.”  

The bi-fold door buyer beat down the clerk to eek out a few more bucks’ worth of savings not because he couldn’t afford the whopping $14 total for a $60-or-more doorset. He did it because in his mind he “deserves to win” and damn any sellers who stumble into his path on his way to continual victory.

Here’s the small kicker: How’s it going to play out on his future trips to the ReStore, now that he’s pegged a “chiseler” – the guy who chisels his way to a below-what’s-even-fair price point?

Here’s the big kicker: Anyone who goes through life chiseling away at every seller with a “Must WIN!” attitude instead of a “Yeah, that’s a fair deal for both of us!” attitude, is going to feel like they’re always broke, never have enough, are always getting taken advantage of, and that everything’s in limited supply so better grab mine before it’s gone, and screw you.

That kind of sounds like hell, huh?

That guy may’ve gotten the price he wanted, but seeing as how he’s not a cop, and the ReStore isn’t a bad guy holding out information, that was a failed negotiation as far as I’m concerned.