Men fix things. Or at least, we like to believe we CAN fix things. It’s a double-edged sword at times. I mean, long before I became a Realtor I learned carpentry. And I still have every tool I ever owned, right downstairs in the garage. Unrestrained, I’m capable of going into full-blown carpenter-mode and building just about anything.
And that holds me back.
It’s not my “highest and best use” at this stage in my family’s life. It’s a skill I absolutely treasure and will pass on to my boy Hayden when/if he wants to learn it. But because I work full time as a Realtor and am trying to spend every possible minute with Hayden and train as an athlete and blog and keep SOME of my friends from totally writing me off… it’s not fair to those things — those high priority things (by my choice) that I try to fit carpentry into that equation as well.
But still, our house — like ANY house — needs some occasional carpentry.
And at 37 years old, married, with a kid, I’m finally able to force myself to do that until-now unthinkable four letter word that my wife, and wives the world over, have come to love:
HIRE!
It’s true. All those tools in the garage that define me as a carpenter… well they need a home, other than our garage. So I’ve been assigned the duty (by Heather) to HIRE a builder to build us a tool shed on the back of the house.
By GOD I’ve built sheds!
I’ve built sturdy 8×12′ gable roof, board and batten, 4′ door, ventilated storage sheds. I’ve built timber frame, cedar sided, copper cupola’d, plumbed and wired garden sheds. I’ve built side-of-a-mountain, sheltered-by-trees, capable of holding 6′ of snow on the roof bivvy sheds in Yosemite National Park, for crying out loud!
And now I’m forced to outsource! And for what? Why CAN’T I, capable carpenter man, erect my own tool shed on the back of my own house on my own land, to house my own tools?
Because my wife understands something us not-quite-as-evolved men still struggle with:
The Value of Done!
I’m hiring it out despite my skills and tools because if we pay a professional builder to build it, it’ll actually get DONE in a non-geologic time frame. And the value of that exceeds the cost of paying for his labor, mark-up and profit. It lets me focus on my full time job as a Realtor, and as a dad, and an athlete, and a husband… not necessarily in that order.
Men who fix things — or think they can — are also men who tend to step over dollars to pick up nickels, and let things go un-done for way too long because we know WE could do it, and we don’t know the Value of Done. But at 37 years old, I’m starting to see it, the Value of Done. And my, my… it is a BEAUTIFUL THING!
What un-finished project are you unable to let go of and outsource to a pro? Is it time to defer to the Value of Done? I bet the wife says, “YES!!!”
This is such a hard thing to accept, but so worthwhile in terms of keeping HER happy.
Of course, with all things being relative, you’ll have to establish a frame of reference by threatening to do it yourself first!
That being said, we’re both happy with the progress on the driveway job that I didn’t hire out, and talking about a landscaping project to boot! Maybe if you let her think it’s her idea……